Shit happens

Lesson to learn: how to accept this little thing called shit .

It’s useless to reapeat “shit happens” as a mantra. I’m sure about it.

It’s useless to avoid thinking about it.

Acceptance. … a mystery unsolved.

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sunny day

It’s just another sunny day in Italy.

I woke up and decided to take care of myself having a sun bath.

Breathing calmly and deeply, that’s all I MUST do to feel I am alive with no pain.

I wish I could feel this way every day , every moment of my life.

I am . That’s it.

I’m not frightened of people, I’m not scared about future.

I am what I am without any judgement and it’s OK.

it deals not about loving myself ,it is just being without the aim of death.

I wish I could trust the idea of being a beloved person but … let’s not argue about this argument.

do I feel Happiness? sure

But I can’t trust life .

every time I feel happy I know I will feel bad tones of times more.

Is there anybody helpful out there in the real life??

 

 

Pain comes from stasis

Satisfied the need to be alone,I’m in a continuous movement toward new equilibriums and now toward the opposite need. Being in good company.

Going toward the other.

I wonder which are the main characteristics that would be necessary to enter into a relationship with the other without interfering with my loneliness.

In and out.

We are always in movement toward something or someone .

Pain comes from stasis.

Farewell

In the last month I could ear “Farewell” from his voice a couple of times. He uses to write it down almost every day several times. During the night something happens to his mind and into his heart that makes him forget this decision. In the morning he’s hopeful, in the afternoon doubtful and in the late afternoon he can’t stand his love for me anymore.

You don’t love me enough. He says. He declares. He assumes.

Human mind is an uncontrolled weapon.

I deserve love

That should be my personal,mantra until I learn it and interiorize it.

I deserve love

I deserve to feel loved

I deserve to be loved

I deserve to feel safe in someone’s arms

I deserve to kiss and caress and hug

I deserve to laugh out loud

I deserve love

I deserve love

I deserve love

I deserve love